expedient to leave off; and a large wooden money-box was

conspicuously placed upon the green baize cloth of the business-table,

behind which the secretary stood, and acknowledged, with a gracious

smile, every addition to the rich vein of copper which lay concealed

within.

On this particular occasion the women drank tea to a most alarming

extent; greatly to the horror of Mr Weller, senior, who, utterly

regardless of all Sam's admonitory nudgings, stared about him in

every direction with the most undisguised astonishment.

'Sammy,' whispered Mr Weller, 'if some o' these here people don't want

tappin' to-morrow mornin', I ain't your father, and that's wot it is.

Why, this here old lady next me is a-drowndin' herself in tea.' 'Be

quiet, can't you?' murmured Sam.

'Sam,' whispered Mr Weller, a moment afterwards, in a tone of deep

agitation, 'mark my vords, my boy. If that 'ere secretary fellow keeps

on for only five minutes more, he'll blow hisself up with toast and

water.'

'Well, let him, if he likes,' replied Sam; 'it ain't no bis'ness o' yourn.'

If this here lasts much longer, Sammy,' said Mr Weller, in the same

low voice, 'I shall feel it my duty, as a human bein', to rise and

address the cheer. There's a young 'ooman on the next form but two,

as has drunk nine breakfast cups and a half; and she's a-swellin'

wisibly before my wery eyes.'

There is little doubt that Mr Weller would have carried his benevolent

intention into immediate execution, if a great noise, occasioned by

putting up the cups and saucers, had not very fortunately announced

that the tea-drinking was over. The crockery having been removed, the

table with the green baize cover was carried out into the centre of the

room, and the business of the evening was commenced by a little

emphatic man, with a bald head and drab shorts, who suddenly

rushed up the ladder, at the imminent peril of snapping the two little

legs incased in the drab shorts, and said -

Ladies and gentlemen, I move our excellent brother, Mr Anthony

Humm, into the chair.'

The ladies waved a choice selection of pocket-handkerchiefs at this

proposition; and the impetuous little man literally moved Mr Humm

into the chair, by taking him by the shoulders and thrusting him into

a mahogany-frame which had once represented that article of

furniture. The waving of handkerchiefs was renewed; and Mr Humm,

who was a sleek, white-faced man, in a perpetual perspiration, bowed

The Pickwick Papers