certain of that, but is sure if he did, that he drank the contents. Feels

very low and melancholy, is very feverish, and has a constant thirst

upon him; thinks it must be the wine he used to drink (cheers). Is out

of employ now; and never touches a drop of foreign wine by any

chance (tremendous plaudits).

Thomas Burton is purveyor of cat's meat to the Lord Mayor and

Sheriffs, and several members of the Common Council (the

announcement of this gentleman's name was received with breathless

interest). Has a wooden leg; finds a wooden leg expensive, going over

the stones; used to wear second-hand wooden legs, and drink a glass

of hot gin-and-water regularly every night - sometimes two (deep

sighs). Found the second-hand wooden legs split and rot very quickly;

is firmly persuaded that their constitution was undermined by the

gin-and-water (prolonged cheering). Buys new wooden legs now, and

drinks nothing but water and weak tea. The new legs last twice as

long as the others used to do, and he attributes this solely to his

temperate habits (triumphant cheers).'

Anthony Humm now moved that the assembly do regale itself with a

song. With a view to their rational and moral enjoyment, Brother

Mordlin had adapted the beautiful words of 'Who hasn't heard of a

Jolly Young Waterman?' to the tune of the Old Hundredth, which he

would request them to join him in singing (great applause). He might

take that opportunity of expressing his firm persuasion that the late

Mr Dibdin, seeing the errors of his former life, had written that song to

show the advantages of abstinence. It was a temperance song

(whirlwinds of cheers). The neatness of the young man's attire, the

dexterity of his feathering, the enviable state of mind which enabled

him in the beautiful words of the poet, to

Row along, thinking of nothing at all,'

all combined to prove that he must have been a water-drinker

cheers). Oh, what a state of virtuous jollity! (rapturous cheering). And

(

what was the young man's reward? Let all young men present mark

this:

The maidens all flocked to his boat so readily.'

Loud cheers, in which the ladies joined.) What a bright example! The

(

sisterhood, the maidens, flocking round the young waterman, and

urging him along the stream of duty and of temperance. But, was it

the maidens of humble life only, who soothed, consoled, and

supported him? No!

'He was always first oars with the fine city ladies.'

The Pickwick Papers