Clean!' replied Mr Weller; 'never leaves nothin' in it but the cork and

the smell; trust him for that, Sammy. Now, these here fellows, my boy,

are a-goin' to-night to get up the monthly meetin' o' the Brick Lane

Branch o' the United Grand Junction Ebenezer Temperance

Association. Your mother-in-law wos a-goin', Sammy, but she's got the

rheumatics, and can't; and I, Sammy - I've got the two tickets as wos

sent her.' Mr Weller communicated this secret with great glee, and

winked so indefatigably after doing so, that Sam began to think he

must have got the TIC DOLOUREUX in his right eyelid.

Well?' said that young gentleman. 'Well,' continued his progenitor,

looking round him very cautiously, 'you and I'll go, punctiwal to the

time. The deputy- shepherd won't, Sammy; the deputy-shepherd

won't.' Here Mr Weller was seized with a paroxysm of chuckles, which

gradually terminated in as near an approach to a choke as an elderly

gentleman can, with safety, sustain.

Well, I never see sitch an old ghost in all my born days,' exclaimed

Sam, rubbing the old gentleman's back, hard enough to set him on

fire with the friction. 'What are you a-laughin' at, corpilence?'

'Hush! Sammy,' said Mr Weller, looking round him with increased

caution, and speaking in a whisper. 'Two friends o' mine, as works the

Oxford Road, and is up to all kinds o' games, has got the deputy-

shepherd safe in tow, Sammy; and ven he does come to the Ebenezer

Junction (vich he's sure to do: for they'll see him to the door, and

shove him in, if necessary), he'll be as far gone in rum-and-water, as

ever he wos at the Markis o' Granby, Dorkin', and that's not sayin' a

little neither.' And with this, Mr Weller once more laughed

immoderately, and once more relapsed into a state of partial

suffocation, in consequence.

Nothing could have been more in accordance with Sam Weller's

feelings than the projected exposure of the real propensities and

qualities of the red-nosed man; and it being very near the appointed

hour of meeting, the father and son took their way at once to Brick

Lane, Sam not forgetting to drop his letter into a general post-office as

they walked along.

The monthly meetings of the Brick Lane Branch of the United Grand

Junction Ebenezer Temperance Association were held in a large room,

pleasantly and airily situated at the top of a safe and commodious

ladder. The president was the straight-walking Mr Anthony Humm, a

converted fireman, now a schoolmaster, and occasionally an itinerant

preacher; and the secretary was Mr Jonas Mudge, chandler's

shopkeeper, an enthusiastic and disinterested vessel, who sold tea to

the members. Previous to the commencement of business, the ladies

sat upon forms, and drank tea, till such time as they considered it

The Pickwick Papers