The Innocents Abroad


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the rich hangings of the apartment, the soft carpets, the sumptuous  
furniture, the pictures, and drank delicious coffee, smoked the soothing  
narghili, and dropped, at the last, into tranquil repose, lulled by  
sensuous odors from unseen censers, by the gentle influence of the  
narghili's Persian tobacco, and by the music of fountains that  
counterfeited the pattering of summer rain.  
That was the picture, just as I got it from incendiary books of travel.  
It was a poor, miserable imposture. The reality is no more like it than  
the Five Points are like the Garden of Eden. They received me in a great  
court, paved with marble slabs; around it were broad galleries, one above  
another, carpeted with seedy matting, railed with unpainted balustrades,  
and furnished with huge rickety chairs, cushioned with rusty old  
mattresses, indented with impressions left by the forms of nine  
successive generations of men who had reposed upon them. The place was  
vast, naked, dreary; its court a barn, its galleries stalls for human  
horses. The cadaverous, half nude varlets that served in the  
establishment had nothing of poetry in their appearance, nothing of  
romance, nothing of Oriental splendor. They shed no entrancing odors  
-
-just the contrary. Their hungry eyes and their lank forms continually  
suggested one glaring, unsentimental fact--they wanted what they term in  
California "a square meal."  
I went into one of the racks and undressed. An unclean starveling  
wrapped a gaudy table-cloth about his loins, and hung a white rag over my  
shoulders. If I had had a tub then, it would have come natural to me to  
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425 426 427 428 429

Quick Jump
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