The Innocents Abroad


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Well, we were at home in Palestine. It was easy to see that that  
was the grand feature of the expedition. We had cared nothing much  
about Europe. We galloped through the Louvre, the Pitti, the  
Ufizzi, the Vatican--all the galleries--and through the pictured and  
frescoed churches of Venice, Naples, and the cathedrals of Spain;  
some of us said that certain of the great works of the old masters  
were glorious creations of genius, (we found it out in the  
guide-book, though we got hold of the wrong picture sometimes,) and  
the others said they were disgraceful old daubs. We examined modern  
and ancient statuary with a critical eye in Florence, Rome, or any  
where we found it, and praised it if we saw fit, and if we didn't we  
said we preferred the wooden Indians in front of the cigar stores of  
America. But the Holy Land brought out all our enthusiasm. We fell  
into raptures by the barren shores of Galilee; we pondered at Tabor  
and at Nazareth; we exploded into poetry over the questionable  
loveliness of Esdraelon; we meditated at Jezreel and Samaria over  
the missionary zeal of Jehu; we rioted--fairly rioted among the holy  
places of Jerusalem; we bathed in Jordan and the Dead Sea, reckless  
whether our accident-insurance policies were extra-hazardous or not,  
and brought away so many jugs of precious water from both places  
that all the country from Jericho to the mountains of Moab will  
suffer from drouth this year, I think. Yet, the pilgrimage part of  
the excursion was its pet feature--there is no question about that.  
After dismal, smileless Palestine, beautiful Egypt had few charms  
for us. We merely glanced at it and were ready for home.  
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