The Innocents Abroad


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accommodating rascal. He said he would go "somewheres" and steal a  
lamp. I abetted and encouraged him in his criminal design. I heard  
the landlord get after him in the hall ten minutes afterward.  
"
"
"
Where are you going with that lamp?"  
Fifteen wants it, sir."  
Fifteen! why he's got a double lot of candles--does the man want  
to illuminate the house?--does he want to get up a torch-light  
procession?--what is he up to, any how?"  
"He don't like them candles--says he wants a lamp."  
"Why what in the nation does----why I never heard of such a thing?  
What on earth can he want with that lamp?"  
"Well, he only wants to read--that's what he says."  
"Wants to read, does he?--ain't satisfied with a thousand candles,  
but has to have a lamp!--I do wonder what the devil that fellow  
wants that lamp for? Take him another candle, and then if----"  
"But he wants the lamp--says he'll burn the d--d old house down if  
he don't get a lamp!" (a remark which I never made.)  
702  


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