The Innocents Abroad


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own responsibility; but when you begin to soar--when you begin to support  
it with the evidence of authorities who are the creations of your own  
fancy--I lose confidence."  
That was the way to flatter the doctor. He considered it a sort of  
acknowledgment on my part of a fear to argue with him. He was always  
persecuting the passengers with abstruse propositions framed in language  
that no man could understand, and they endured the exquisite torture a  
minute or two and then abandoned the field. A triumph like this, over  
half a dozen antagonists was sufficient for one day; from that time  
forward he would patrol the decks beaming blandly upon all comers, and so  
tranquilly, blissfully happy!  
But I digress. The thunder of our two brave cannon announced the Fourth  
of July, at daylight, to all who were awake. But many of us got our  
information at a later hour, from the almanac. All the flags were sent  
aloft except half a dozen that were needed to decorate portions of the  
ship below, and in a short time the vessel assumed a holiday appearance.  
During the morning, meetings were held and all manner of committees set  
to work on the celebration ceremonies. In the afternoon the ship's  
company assembled aft, on deck, under the awnings; the flute, the  
asthmatic melodeon, and the consumptive clarinet crippled "The  
Star-Spangled Banner," the choir chased it to cover, and George came in  
with a peculiarly lacerating screech on the final note and slaughtered  
it. Nobody mourned.  
105  


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Quick Jump
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