The Innocents Abroad


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argument which another man can't answer. Dan don't never stand any  
chance in an argument with me. And he knows it, too. What should you  
say, Jack?"  
"Now, Doctor, don't you come bothering around me with that dictionary  
bosh. I don't do you any harm, do I? Then you let me alone."  
"He's gone, too. Well, them fellows have all tackled the old Oracle, as  
they say, but the old man's most too many for 'em. Maybe the Poet Lariat  
ain't satisfied with them deductions?"  
The poet replied with a barbarous rhyme and went below.  
"'Pears that he can't qualify, neither. Well, I didn't expect nothing  
out of him. I never see one of them poets yet that knowed anything.  
He'll go down now and grind out about four reams of the awfullest slush  
about that old rock and give it to a consul, or a pilot, or a nigger, or  
anybody he comes across first which he can impose on. Pity but  
somebody'd take that poor old lunatic and dig all that poetry rubbage out  
of him. Why can't a man put his intellect onto things that's some value?  
Gibbons, and Hippocratus, and Sarcophagus, and all them old ancient  
philosophers was down on poets--"  
"
Doctor," I said, "you are going to invent authorities now and I'll leave  
you, too. I always enjoy your conversation, notwithstanding the  
luxuriance of your syllables, when the philosophy you offer rests on your  
104  


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