So you vouldn't subscribe to the flannel veskits?' said Sam, after

another interval of smoking.

Cert'nly not,' replied Mr Weller; 'what's the good o' flannel veskits to

the young niggers abroad? But I'll tell you what it is, Sammy,' said Mr

Weller, lowering his voice, and bending across the fireplace; 'I'd come

down wery handsome towards strait veskits for some people at home.'

As Mr Weller said this, he slowly recovered his former position, and

winked at his first-born, in a profound manner.

'it cert'nly seems a queer start to send out pocket-'ankerchers to

people as don't know the use on 'em,' observed Sam.

They're alvays a-doin' some gammon of that sort, Sammy,' replied his

father. 'T'other Sunday I wos walkin' up the road, wen who should I

see, a-standin' at a chapel door, with a blue soup-plate in her hand,

but your mother-in-law! I werily believe there was change for a couple

o' suv'rins in it, then, Sammy, all in ha'pence; and as the people come

out, they rattled the pennies in it, till you'd ha' thought that no mortal

plate as ever was baked, could ha' stood the wear and tear. What d'ye

think it was all for?'

'For another tea-drinkin', perhaps,' said Sam.

Not a bit on it,' replied the father; 'for the shepherd's water- rate,

Sammy.'

The shepherd's water-rate!' said Sam.

Ay,' replied Mr Weller, 'there was three quarters owin', and the

shepherd hadn't paid a farden, not he - perhaps it might be on

account that the water warn't o' much use to him, for it's wery little o'

that tap he drinks, Sammy, wery; he knows a trick worth a good half-

dozen of that, he does. Hows'ever, it warn't paid, and so they cuts the

water off. Down goes the shepherd to chapel, gives out as he's a

persecuted saint, and says he hopes the heart of the turncock as cut

the water off, 'll be softened, and turned in the right vay, but he

rayther thinks he's booked for somethin' uncomfortable. Upon this,

the women calls a meetin', sings a hymn, wotes your mother-in-law

into the chair, wolunteers a collection next Sunday, and hands it all

over to the shepherd. And if he ain't got enough out on 'em, Sammy,

to make him free of the water company for life,' said Mr Weller, in

conclusion, 'I'm one Dutchman, and you're another, and that's all

about it.'

Mr Weller smoked for some minutes in silence, and then resumed -

The Pickwick Papers