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my imperative duty to take her from scenes that thus forcibly reminded her
of her loss. Nor did I doubt, that in the tranquillity of our family circle
at Windsor, she would recover some degree of composure, and in the end, of
happiness. My affection for Clara also led me to oppose these fond dreams
of cherished grief; her sensibility had already been too much excited; her
infant heedlessness too soon exchanged for deep and anxious thought. The
strange and romantic scheme of her mother, might confirm and perpetuate the
painful view of life, which had intruded itself thus early on her
contemplation.
On returning home, the captain of the steam packet with whom I had agreed
to sail, came to tell me, that accidental circumstances hastened his
departure, and that, if I went with him, I must come on board at five on
the following morning. I hastily gave my consent to this arrangement, and
as hastily formed a plan through which Perdita should be forced to become
my companion. I believe that most people in my situation would have acted
in the same manner. Yet this consideration does not, or rather did not in
after time, diminish the reproaches of my conscience. At the moment, I felt
convinced that I was acting for the best, and that all I did was right and
even necessary.
I sat with Perdita and soothed her, by my seeming assent to her wild
scheme. She received my concurrence with pleasure, and a thousand times
over thanked her deceiving, deceitful brother. As night came on, her
spirits, enlivened by my unexpected concession, regained an almost
forgotten vivacity. I pretended to be alarmed by the feverish glow in her
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