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reach Windsor you would have left me, and without reproach or contention, I
might have pursued my plan. But I disdained the artifice; or rather in my
wretchedness it was my only consolation to pour out my heart to you, my
brother, my only friend. You will not dispute with me? You know how wilful
your poor, misery-stricken sister is. Take my girl with you; wean her from
sights and thoughts of sorrow; let infantine hilarity revisit her heart,
and animate her eyes; so could it never be, were she near me; it is far
better for all of you that you should never see me again. For myself, I
will not voluntarily seek death, that is, I will not, while I can command
myself; and I can here. But drag me from this country; and my power of self
control vanishes, nor can I answer for the violence my agony of grief may
lead me to commit."
"You clothe your meaning, Perdita," I replied, "in powerful words, yet that
meaning is selfish and unworthy of you. You have often agreed with me that
there is but one solution to the intricate riddle of life; to improve
ourselves, and contribute to the happiness of others: and now, in the very
prime of life, you desert your principles, and shut yourself up in useless
solitude. Will you think of Raymond less at Windsor, the scene of your
early happiness? Will you commune less with his departed spirit, while you
watch over and cultivate the rare excellence of his child? You have been
sadly visited; nor do I wonder that a feeling akin to insanity should drive
you to bitter and unreasonable imaginings. But a home of love awaits you in
your native England. My tenderness and affection must soothe you; the
society of Raymond's friends will be of more solace than these dreary
speculations. We will all make it our first care, our dearest task, to
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