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she really not understand what I meant? But she was offended and became
angry.
"'You have become absolutely impossible,' she began, or some such phrase
as that regarding my character, trying, as usual, to give me as much
pain as possible. 'After what you have done to my sister (she referred
to an incident with her sister, in which, beside myself, I had uttered
brutalities; she knew that that tortured me, and tried to touch me in
that tender spot) nothing will astonish me.'
"'Yes, offended, humiliated, and dishonored, and after that to hold
me still responsible,' thought I, and suddenly a rage, such a hatred
invaded me as I do not remember to have ever felt before. For the first
time I desired to express this hatred physically. I leaped upon her, but
at the same moment I understood my condition, and I asked myself whether
it would be well for me to abandon myself to my fury. And I answered
myself that it would be well, that it would frighten her, and, instead
of resisting, I lashed and spurred myself on, and was glad to feel my
anger boiling more and more fiercely.
"'Go away, or I will kill you!' I cried, purposely, with a frightful
voice, and I grasped her by the arm. She did not go away. Then I twisted
her arm, and pushed her away violently.
"'What is the matter with you? Come to your senses!' she shrieked.
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