The Innocents Abroad


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Let us average the ages of the Quaker City's pilgrims and set the  
figure down as fifty years. Is any man insane enough to imagine  
that this picnic of patriarchs sang, made love, danced, laughed,  
told anecdotes, dealt in ungodly levity? In my experience they  
sinned little in these matters. No doubt it was presumed here at  
home that these frolicsome veterans laughed and sang and romped all  
day, and day after day, and kept up a noisy excitement from one end  
of the ship to the other; and that they played blind-man's buff or  
danced quadrilles and waltzes on moonlight evenings on the  
quarter-deck; and that at odd moments of unoccupied time they jotted  
a laconic item or two in the journals they opened on such an  
elaborate plan when they left home, and then skurried off to their  
whist and euchre labors under the cabin lamps. If these things were  
presumed, the presumption was at fault. The venerable excursionists  
were not gay and frisky. They played no blind-man's buff; they  
dealt not in whist; they shirked not the irksome journal, for alas!  
most of them were even writing books. They never romped, they  
talked but little, they never sang, save in the nightly  
prayer-meeting. The pleasure ship was a synagogue, and the pleasure  
trip was a funeral excursion without a corpse. (There is nothing  
exhilarating about a funeral excursion without a corpse.) A free,  
hearty laugh was a sound that was not heard oftener than once in  
seven days about those decks or in those cabins, and when it was  
heard it met with precious little sympathy. The excursionists  
danced, on three separate evenings, long, long ago, (it seems an  
age.) quadrilles, of a single set, made up of three ladies and five  
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