The Innocents Abroad


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as it was full of desperate chances and hairbreadth escapes to the  
participant. We gave up dancing, finally.  
We celebrated a lady's birthday anniversary with toasts, speeches, a  
poem, and so forth. We also had a mock trial. No ship ever went to sea  
that hadn't a mock trial on board. The purser was accused of stealing an  
overcoat from stateroom No. 10. A judge was appointed; also clerks, a  
crier of the court, constables, sheriffs; counsel for the State and for  
the defendant; witnesses were subpoenaed, and a jury empaneled after  
much  
challenging. The witnesses were stupid and unreliable and contradictory,  
as witnesses always are. The counsel were eloquent, argumentative, and  
vindictively abusive of each other, as was characteristic and proper.  
The case was at last submitted and duly finished by the judge with an  
absurd decision and a ridiculous sentence.  
The acting of charades was tried on several evenings by the young  
gentlemen and ladies, in the cabins, and proved the most distinguished  
success of all the amusement experiments.  
An attempt was made to organize a debating club, but it was a failure.  
There was no oratorical talent in the ship.  
We all enjoyed ourselves--I think I can safely say that, but it was in a  
rather quiet way. We very, very seldom played the piano; we played the  
flute and the clarinet together, and made good music, too, what there was  
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Page
48 49 50 51 52

Quick Jump
1 187 374 560 747