The Innocents Abroad


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transparent pictures and gave us a handsome magic-lantern exhibition.  
His views were nearly all of foreign scenes, but there were one or two  
home pictures among them. He advertised that he would "open his  
performance in the after cabin at 'two bells' (nine P.M.) and show the  
passengers where they shall eventually arrive"--which was all very well,  
but by a funny accident the first picture that flamed out upon the canvas  
was a view of Greenwood Cemetery!  
On several starlight nights we danced on the upper deck, under the  
awnings, and made something of a ball-room display of brilliancy by  
hanging a number of ship's lanterns to the stanchions. Our music  
consisted of the well-mixed strains of a melodeon which was a little  
asthmatic and apt to catch its breath where it ought to come out strong,  
a clarinet which was a little unreliable on the high keys and rather  
melancholy on the low ones, and a disreputable accordion that had a leak  
somewhere and breathed louder than it squawked--a more elegant term  
does  
not occur to me just now. However, the dancing was infinitely worse than  
the music. When the ship rolled to starboard the whole platoon of  
dancers came charging down to starboard with it, and brought up in mass  
at the rail; and when it rolled to port they went floundering down to  
port with the same unanimity of sentiment. Waltzers spun around  
precariously for a matter of fifteen seconds and then went scurrying down  
to the rail as if they meant to go overboard. The Virginia reel, as  
performed on board the Quaker City, had more genuine reel about it than  
any reel I ever saw before, and was as full of interest to the spectator  
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