The Innocents Abroad


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outrageous, outlandish, idolatrous, extravagant, thunder-and-lightning  
costumes that ever a tailor with the delirium tremens and seven devils  
could conceive of. There was no freak in dress too crazy to be indulged  
in; no absurdity too absurd to be tolerated; no frenzy in ragged  
diabolism too fantastic to be attempted. No two men were dressed alike.  
It was a wild masquerade of all imaginable costumes--every struggling  
throng in every street was a dissolving view of stunning contrasts. Some  
patriarchs wore awful turbans, but the grand mass of the infidel horde  
wore the fiery red skull-cap they call a fez. All the remainder of the  
raiment they indulged in was utterly indescribable.  
The shops here are mere coops, mere boxes, bath-rooms, closets--any thing  
you please to call them--on the first floor. The Turks sit cross-legged  
in them, and work and trade and smoke long pipes, and smell like--like  
Turks. That covers the ground. Crowding the narrow streets in front of  
them are beggars, who beg forever, yet never collect any thing; and  
wonderful cripples, distorted out of all semblance of humanity, almost;  
vagabonds driving laden asses; porters carrying dry-goods boxes as large  
as cottages on their backs; peddlers of grapes, hot corn, pumpkin seeds,  
and a hundred other things, yelling like fiends; and sleeping happily,  
comfortably, serenely, among the hurrying feet, are the famed dogs of  
Constantinople; drifting noiselessly about are squads of Turkish women,  
draped from chin to feet in flowing robes, and with snowy veils bound  
about their heads, that disclose only the eyes and a vague, shadowy  
notion of their features. Seen moving about, far away in the dim, arched  
aisles of the Great Bazaar, they look as the shrouded dead must have  
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