The Innocents Abroad


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that if that potentate must go over in our ship, why, I supposed he must  
-but that to my thinking, when the United States considered it necessary  
-
to send a dignitary of that tonnage across the ocean, it would be in  
better taste, and safer, to take him apart and cart him over in sections  
in several ships.  
Ah, if I had only known then that he was only a common mortal, and that  
his mission had nothing more overpowering about it than the collecting of  
seeds and uncommon yams and extraordinary cabbages and peculiar  
bullfrogs  
for that poor, useless, innocent, mildewed old fossil the Smithsonian  
Institute, I would have felt so much relieved.  
During that memorable month I basked in the happiness of being for once  
in my life drifting with the tide of a great popular movement. Everybody  
was going to Europe--I, too, was going to Europe. Everybody was going to  
the famous Paris Exposition--I, too, was going to the Paris Exposition.  
The steamship lines were carrying Americans out of the various ports of  
the country at the rate of four or five thousand a week in the aggregate.  
If I met a dozen individuals during that month who were not going to  
Europe shortly, I have no distinct remembrance of it now. I walked about  
the city a good deal with a young Mr. Blucher, who was booked for the  
excursion. He was confiding, good-natured, unsophisticated,  
companionable; but he was not a man to set the river on fire. He had the  
most extraordinary notions about this European exodus and came at last to  
consider the whole nation as packing up for emigration to France. We  
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