before he paid any attention, and then begged a thousand pardons and

said he had grown so accustomed to hearing himself addressed as "M'sieu

Gor-r-dong," with a roll to the r, that he had forgotten the legitimate

sound of his name! He wore a rose in his button-hole; he gave the French

salutation--two flips of the hand in front of the face; he called Paris

Pairree in ordinary English conversation; he carried envelopes bearing

foreign postmarks protruding from his breast-pocket; he cultivated a

moustache and imperial, and did what else he could to suggest to the

beholder his pet fancy that he resembled Louis Napoleon--and in a spirit

of thankfulness which is entirely unaccountable, considering the slim

foundation there was for it, he praised his Maker that he was as he was,

and went on enjoying his little life just the same as if he really had

been deliberately designed and erected by the great Architect of the

Universe.

Think of our Whitcombs, and our Ainsworths and our Williamses writing

themselves down in dilapidated French in foreign hotel registers! We

laugh at Englishmen, when we are at home, for sticking so sturdily to

their national ways and customs, but we look back upon it from abroad

very forgivingly. It is not pleasant to see an American thrusting his

nationality forward obtrusively in a foreign land, but Oh, it is pitiable

to see him making of himself a thing that is neither male nor female,

neither fish, flesh, nor fowl--a poor, miserable, hermaphrodite

Frenchman!

Among a long list of churches, art galleries, and such things, visited by

263

The Innocents Abroad