The Innocents Abroad


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rags, her poverty and her humiliation, and think of her only as she was  
when she sunk the fleets of Charlemagne; when she humbled Frederick  
Barbarossa or waved her victorious banners above the battlements of  
Constantinople.  
We reached Venice at eight in the evening, and entered a hearse belonging  
to the Grand Hotel d'Europe. At any rate, it was more like a hearse than  
any thing else, though to speak by the card, it was a gondola. And this  
was the storied gondola of Venice!--the fairy boat in which the princely  
cavaliers of the olden time were wont to cleave the waters of the moonlit  
canals and look the eloquence of love into the soft eyes of patrician  
beauties, while the gay gondolier in silken doublet touched his guitar  
and sang as only gondoliers can sing! This the famed gondola and this  
the gorgeous gondolier!--the one an inky, rusty old canoe with a sable  
hearse-body clapped on to the middle of it, and the other a mangy,  
barefooted guttersnipe with a portion of his raiment on exhibition which  
should have been sacred from public scrutiny. Presently, as he turned a  
corner and shot his hearse into a dismal ditch between two long rows of  
towering, untenanted buildings, the gay gondolier began to sing, true to  
the traditions of his race. I stood it a little while. Then I said:  
"Now, here, Roderigo Gonzales Michael Angelo, I'm a pilgrim, and I'm a  
stranger, but I am not going to have my feelings lacerated by any such  
caterwauling as that. If that goes on, one of us has got to take water.  
It is enough that my cherished dreams of Venice have been blighted  
forever as to the romantic gondola and the gorgeous gondolier; this  
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