The next morning the Hooverville Patriot and Clarion had this "item":--

SLIGHTUALLY OVERBOARD.

We learn that as the down noon express was leaving H---- yesterday

a lady! (God save the mark) attempted to force herself into the

already full palatial car. Conductor Slum, who is too old a bird to

be caught with chaff, courteously informed her that the car was

full, and when she insisted on remaining, he persuaded her to go

into the car where she belonged. Thereupon a young sprig, from the

East, blustered like a Shanghai rooster, and began to sass the

conductor with his chin music. That gentleman delivered the young

aspirant for a muss one of his elegant little left-handers, which so

astonished him that he began to feel for his shooter. Whereupon Mr.

Slum gently raised the youth, carried him forth, and set him down

just outside the car to cool off. Whether the young blood has yet

made his way out of Bascom's swamp, we have not learned. Conductor

Slum is one of the most gentlemanly and efficient officers on the

road; but he ain't trifled with, not much. We learn that the

company have put a new engine on the seven o'clock train, and newly

upholstered the drawing-room car throughout. It spares no effort

for the comfort of the traveling public."

Philip never had been before in Bascom's swamp, and there was nothing

inviting in it to detain him. After the train got out of the way he

305

The Gilded Age