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"
Friends and Fellow Utensils! Our worthy Commander of the Spoon
Brigade, Captain Dipp, has captured the three prisoners you see before
you and brought them here for--for--I don't know what for. So I ask your
advice how to act in this matter, and what fate I should mete out to these
captives. Judge Sifter, stand on my right. It is your business to sift this
affair to the bottom. High Priest Colender, stand on my left and see that
no one testifies falsely in this matter."
As these two officials took their places, Dorothy asked:
"
"
"
"
Why is the colander the High Priest?"
He's the holiest thing we have in the kingdom," replied King Kleaver.
Except me," said a sieve. "I'm the whole thing when it comes to holes."
What we need," remarked the King, rebukingly, "is a wireless sieve. I
must speak to Marconi about it. These old-fashioned sieves talk too
much. Now, it is the duty of the King's Counselors to counsel the King at
all times of emergency, so I beg you to speak out and advise me what to
do with these prisoners."
"
I demand that they be killed several times, until they are dead!" shouted
a pepperbox, hopping around very excitedly.
"
Compose yourself, Mr. Paprica," advised the King. "Your remarks are
piquant and highly-seasoned, but you need a scattering of
commonsense. It is only necessary to kill a person once to make him
dead; but I do not see that it is necessary to kill this little girl at all."
"
"
I don't, either," said Dorothy.
Pardon me, but you are not expected to advise me in this matter,"
replied King Kleaver.
"
Why not?" asked Dorothy.
"
"
You might be prejudiced in your own favor, and so mislead us," he said.
Now then, good subjects, who speaks next?"
"
I'd like to smooth this thing over, in some way," said a flatiron,
earnestly. "We are supposed to be useful to mankind, you know."
"
But the girl isn't mankind! She's womankind!" yelled a corkscrew.
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