Sketches New and Old


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stars and Fourth-of-July fireworks of a generation, put together and  
rained down simultaneously out of heaven in one brilliant shower upon one  
helpless roof, would not have any advantage of the pyrotechnic display  
that was making my house so magnificently conspicuous in the general  
gloom of the storm.  
By actual count, the lightning struck at my establishment seven  
hundred and sixty-four times in forty minutes, but tripped on one of  
those faithful rods every time, and slid down the spiral-twist and shot  
into the earth before it probably had time to be surprised at the way the  
thing was done. And through all that bombardment only one patch of slates  
was ripped up, and that was because, for a single instant, the rods in  
the vicinity were transporting all the lightning they could possibly  
accommodate. Well, nothing was ever seen like it since the world began.  
For one whole day and night not a member of my family stuck his head out  
of the window but he got the hair snatched off it as smooth as a  
billiard-ball; and; if the reader will believe me, not one of us ever  
dreamt of stirring abroad. But at last the awful siege came to an  
end-because there was absolutely no more electricity left in the clouds  
above us within grappling distance of my insatiable rods. Then I sallied  
forth, and gathered daring workmen together, and not a bite or a nap did  
we take till the premises were utterly stripped of all their terrific  
armament except just three rods on the house, one on the kitchen, and one  
on the barn--and, behold, these remain there even unto this day. And  
then, and not till then, the people ventured to use our street again.  
I will remark here, in passing, that during that fearful time I did not  
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