Why didn't you stay at Browndean?' Morris ventured to enquire.

Skittles!' said John. 'On what? The Pink Un and a measly religious

paper? I had to leave Browndean; I had to, I tell you. I got tick at

a public, and set up to be the Great Vance; so would you, if you were

leading such a beastly existence! And a card stood me a lot of ale and

stuff, and we got swipey, talking about music-halls and the piles of tin

I got for singing; and then they got me on to sing "Around her splendid

form I weaved the magic circle," and then he said I couldn't be Vance,

and I stuck to it like grim death I was. It was rot of me to sing, of

course, but I thought I could brazen it out with a set of yokels. It

settled my hash at the public,' said John, with a sigh. 'And then the

last thing was the carpenter--'

'Our landlord?' enquired Morris.

'That's the party,' said John. 'He came nosing about the place, and then

wanted to know where the water-butt was, and the bedclothes. I told him

to go to the devil; so would you too, when there was no possible thing

to say! And then he said I had pawned them, and did I know it was

felony? Then I made a pretty neat stroke. I remembered he was deaf, and

talked a whole lot of rot, very politely, just so low he couldn't hear

a word. "I don't hear you," says he. "I know you don't, my buck, and I

don't mean you to," says I, smiling away like a haberdasher. "I'm hard

of hearing," he roars. "I'd be in a pretty hot corner if you weren't,"

252

The Wrong Box