Let me not be considered as wishing to detract from the merits of the

former gentlemen. Sir, I envy them the luxury of their own feelings on

this occasion. (Cheers.) Every gentleman who hears me, is probably

acquainted with the reply made by an individual, who - to use an

ordinary figure of speech - ’hung out’ in a tub, to the emperor

Alexander: - ’if I were not Diogenes,’ said he, ‘I would be Alexander.’ I

can well imagine these gentlemen to say, ‘If I were not Dumkins I

would be Luffey; if I were not Podder I would be Struggles.’

(

Enthusiasm.) But, gentlemen of Muggleton, is it in cricket alone that

your fellow-townsmen stand pre-eminent? Have you never heard of

Dumkins and determination? Have you never been taught to associate

Podder with property? (Great applause.) Have you never, when

struggling for your rights, your liberties, and your privileges, been

reduced, if only for an instant, to misgiving and despair? And when

you have been thus depressed, has not the name of Dumkins laid

afresh within your breast the fire which had just gone out; and has

not a word from that man lighted it again as brightly as if it had never

expired? (Great cheering.) Gentlemen, I beg to surround with a rich

halo of enthusiastic cheering the united names of ‘Dumkins and

Podder.’'

Here the little man ceased, and here the company commenced a

raising of voices, and thumping of tables, which lasted with little

intermission during the remainder of the evening. Other toasts were

drunk. Mr Luffey and Mr Struggles, Mr Pickwick and Mr Jingle, were,

each in his turn, the subject of unqualified eulogium; and each in due

course returned thanks for the honour.

Enthusiastic as we are in the noble cause to which we have devoted

ourselves, we should have felt a sensation of pride which we cannot

express, and a consciousness of having done something to merit

immortality of which we are now deprived, could we have laid the

faintest outline on these addresses before our ardent readers. Mr

Snodgrass, as usual, took a great mass of notes, which would no

doubt have afforded most useful and valuable information, had not

the burning eloquence of the words or the feverish influence of the

wine made that gentleman's hand so extremely unsteady, as to render

his writing nearly unintelligible, and his style wholly so. By dint of

patient investigation, we have been enabled to trace some characters

bearing a faint resemblance to the names of the speakers; and we can

only discern an entry of a song (supposed to have been sung by Mr

Jingle), in which the words 'bowl' 'sparkling' 'ruby' 'bright' and 'wine'

are frequently repeated at short intervals. We fancy, too, that we can

discern at the very end of the notes, some indistinct reference to

'broiled bones'; and then the words 'cold' 'without' occur: but as any

hypothesis we could found upon them must necessarily rest upon

mere conjecture, we are not disposed to indulge in any of the

speculations to which they may give rise.

The Pickwick Papers