convenient to reduce your eyes to their usual size again, and to let me

hear what you think we ought to do, I shall feel rather obliged to you!'

The testy manner in which the hearty old gentleman uttered this last

sentence was not wholly unwarranted; for Mr Pickwick's face had

settled down into an expression of blank amazement and perplexity,

quite curious to behold.

'Snodgrass!-since last Christmas!' were the first broken words that

issued from the lips of the confounded gentleman.

Since last Christmas,' replied Wardle; 'that's plain enough, and very

bad spectacles we must have worn, not to have discovered it before.'

I don't understand it,' said Mr Pickwick, ruminating; 'I cannot really

understand it.'

It's easy enough to understand it,' replied the choleric old gentleman.

If you had been a younger man, you would have been in the secret

long ago; and besides,' added Wardle, after a moment's hesitation, 'the

truth is, that, knowing nothing of this matter, I have rather pressed

Emily for four or five months past, to receive favourably (if she could; I

would never attempt to force a girl's inclinations) the addresses of a

young gentleman down in our neighbourhood. I have no doubt that,

girl-like, to enhance her own value and increase the ardour of Mr

Snodgrass, she has represented this matter in very glowing colours,

and that they have both arrived at the conclusion that they are a

terribly- persecuted pair of unfortunates, and have no resource but

clandestine matrimony, or charcoal. Now the question is, what's to be

done?'

What have YOU done?' inquired Mr Pickwick.

I!'

I mean what did you do when your married daughter told you this?'

Oh, I made a fool of myself of course,' rejoined Wardle.

Just so,' interposed Perker, who had accompanied this dialogue with

sundry twitchings of his watch-chain, vindictive rubbings of his nose,

and other symptoms of impatience. 'That's very natural; but how?'

'I went into a great passion and frightened my mother into a fit,' said

Wardle.

That was judicious,' remarked Perker; 'and what else?'

The Pickwick Papers