| 678 | 679 | 680 | 681 | 682 |
| 1 | 198 | 396 | 594 | 792 |
|
very fine and grand, clasped her tight by the wrist when she got in,
and followed himself immediately afterwards. An uncommonly ill-
looking fellow, in a close brown wig, and a plum-coloured suit,
wearing a very large sword, and boots up to his hips, belonged to the
party; and when he sat himself down next to the young lady, who
shrank into a corner at his approach, my uncle was confirmed in his
original impression that something dark and mysterious was going
forward, or, as he always said himself, that ‘there was a screw loose
somewhere.’ It's quite surprising how quickly he made up his mind to
help the lady at any peril, if she needed any help.
'
‘Death and lightning!’ exclaimed the young gentleman, laying his
hand upon his sword as my uncle entered the coach.
'‘Blood and thunder!’ roared the other gentleman. With this, he
whipped his sword out, and made a lunge at my uncle without further
ceremony. My uncle had no weapon about him, but with great
dexterity he snatched the ill-looking gentleman's three-cornered hat
from his head, and, receiving the point of his sword right through the
crown, squeezed the sides together, and held it tight.
'‘Pink him behind!’ cried the ill-looking gentleman to his companion,
as he struggled to regain his sword.
'
‘He had better not,’ cried my uncle, displaying the heel of one of his
shoes, in a threatening manner. ‘I'll kick his brains out, if he has any -
or fracture his skull if he hasn't.’ Exerting all his strength, at this
,
moment, my uncle wrenched the ill-looking man's sword from his
grasp, and flung it clean out of the coach window, upon which the
younger gentleman vociferated, ‘Death and lightning!’ again, and laid
his hand upon the hilt of his sword, in a very fierce manner, but didn't
draw it. Perhaps, gentlemen, as my uncle used to say with a smile,
perhaps he was afraid of alarming the lady.
'
‘Now, gentlemen,’ said my uncle, taking his seat deliberately, ‘I don't
want to have any death, with or without lightning, in a lady's
presence, and we have had quite blood and thundering enough for one
journey; so, if you please, we'll sit in our places like quiet insides.
Here, guard, pick up that gentleman's carving-knife.’
'
As quickly as my uncle said the words, the guard appeared at the
coach window, with the gentleman's sword in his hand. He held up
his lantern, and looked earnestly in my uncle's face, as he handed it
in, when, by its light, my uncle saw, to his great surprise, that an
immense crowd of mail-coach guards swarmed round the window,
every one of whom had his eyes earnestly fixed upon him too. He had
never seen such a sea of white faces, red bodies, and earnest eyes, in
all his born days.
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