Is this here gen'l'm'n troubled with any painful complaint?' said Sam,

looking to his mother-in-law for explanation.

The good man is grieved to see you here, Samuel,' replied Mrs. Weller.

Oh, that's it, is it?' said Sam. 'I was afeerd, from his manner, that he

might ha' forgotten to take pepper vith that 'ere last cowcumber he

eat. Set down, Sir, ve make no extra charge for settin' down, as the

king remarked wen he blowed up his ministers.'

Young man,' said Mr Stiggins ostentatiously, 'I fear you are not

softened by imprisonment.'

'Beg your pardon, Sir,' replied Sam; 'wot wos you graciously pleased to

hobserve?'

'I apprehend, young man, that your nature is no softer for this

chastening,' said Mr Stiggins, in a loud voice.

'Sir,' replied Sam, 'you're wery kind to say so. I hope my natur is NOT

a soft vun, Sir. Wery much obliged to you for your good opinion, Sir.'

At this point of the conversation, a sound, indecorously approaching

to a laugh, was heard to proceed from the chair in which the elder Mr

Weller was seated; upon which Mrs. Weller, on a hasty consideration

of all the circumstances of the case, considered it her bounden duty to

become gradually hysterical.

Weller,' said Mrs. W. (the old gentleman was seated in a corner);

Weller! Come forth.'

Wery much obleeged to you, my dear,' replied Mr Weller; 'but I'm

quite comfortable vere I am.'

Upon this, Mrs. Weller burst into tears.

Wot's gone wrong, mum?' said Sam.

Oh, Samuel!' replied Mrs. Weller, 'your father makes me wretched.

Will nothing do him good?'

Do you hear this here?' said Sam. 'Lady vants to know vether nothin'

ull do you good.'

Wery much indebted to Mrs. Weller for her po-lite inquiries, Sammy,'

replied the old gentleman. 'I think a pipe vould benefit me a good deal.

Could I be accommodated, Sammy?'

The Pickwick Papers