There is no ‘of course’ in the case, Sam,' said Mr Pickwick, gradually

breaking into a smile, in spite of the uneasiness which Sam's

obstinacy had given him. 'The fame of the gentleman in question,

never reached my ears.'

'No, sir!' exclaimed Mr Weller. 'You astonish me, Sir; he wos a clerk in

a gov'ment office, sir.'

Was he?' said Mr Pickwick.

Yes, he wos, Sir,' rejoined Mr Weller; 'and a wery pleasant gen'l'm'n

too - one o' the precise and tidy sort, as puts their feet in little India-

rubber fire-buckets wen it's wet weather, and never has no other

bosom friends but hare-skins; he saved up his money on principle,

wore a clean shirt ev'ry day on principle; never spoke to none of his

relations on principle, 'fear they shou'd want to borrow money of him;

and wos altogether, in fact, an uncommon agreeable character. He

had his hair cut on principle vunce a fortnight, and contracted for his

clothes on the economic principle - three suits a year, and send back

the old uns. Being a wery reg'lar gen'l'm'n, he din'd ev'ry day at the

same place, where it was one-and-nine to cut off the joint, and a wery

good one-and-nine's worth he used to cut, as the landlord often said,

with the tears a-tricklin' down his face, let alone the way he used to

poke the fire in the vinter time, which wos a dead loss o' four-pence

ha'penny a day, to say nothin' at all o' the aggrawation o' seein' him

do it. So uncommon grand with it too! ‘POST arter the next gen'l'm'n,’

he sings out ev'ry day ven he comes in. ‘See arter the TIMES, Thomas;

let me look at the MORNIN' HERALD, when it's out o' hand; don't

forget to bespeak the CHRONICLE; and just bring the 'TIZER, vill you:’

and then he'd set vith his eyes fixed on the clock, and rush out, just a

quarter of a minit 'fore the time to waylay the boy as wos a-comin' in

with the evenin' paper, which he'd read with sich intense interest and

persewerance as worked the other customers up to the wery confines

o' desperation and insanity, 'specially one i-rascible old gen'l'm'n as

the vaiter wos always obliged to keep a sharp eye on, at sich times,

fear he should be tempted to commit some rash act with the carving-

knife. Vell, Sir, here he'd stop, occupyin' the best place for three

hours, and never takin' nothin' arter his dinner, but sleep, and then

he'd go away to a coffee-house a few streets off, and have a small pot

o' coffee and four crumpets, arter wich he'd walk home to Kensington

and go to bed. One night he wos took very ill; sends for a doctor;

doctor comes in a green fly, with a kind o' Robinson Crusoe set o'

steps, as he could let down wen he got out, and pull up arter him wen

he got in, to perwent the necessity o' the coachman's gettin' down, and

thereby undeceivin' the public by lettin' 'em see that it wos only a

livery coat as he'd got on, and not the trousers to match. ‘Wot's the

matter?’ says the doctor. ‘Wery ill,’ says the patient. ‘Wot have you

been a-eatin' on?’ says the doctor. ‘Roast weal,’ says the patient.

The Pickwick Papers