It was quite unnecessary to call Samuel Weller; for Samuel Weller

stepped briskly into the box the instant his name was pronounced;

and placing his hat on the floor, and his arms on the rail, took a

bird's-eye view of the Bar, and a comprehensive survey of the Bench,

with a remarkably cheerful and lively aspect. 'What's your name, sir?'

inquired the judge.

Sam Weller, my Lord,' replied that gentleman.

Do you spell it with a ‘V’ or a ‘W’?' inquired the judge.

That depends upon the taste and fancy of the speller, my Lord,'

replied Sam; 'I never had occasion to spell it more than once or twice

in my life, but I spells it with a ‘V.’ '

Here a voice in the gallery exclaimed aloud, 'Quite right too, Samivel,

quite right. Put it down a ‘we,’ my Lord, put it down a ‘we.’' 'Who is

that, who dares address the court?' said the little judge, looking up.

Usher.'

Yes, my Lord.'

Bring that person here instantly.'

Yes, my Lord.'

But as the usher didn't find the person, he didn't bring him; and, after

a great commotion, all the people who had got up to look for the

culprit, sat down again. The little judge turned to the witness as soon

as his indignation would allow him to speak, and said -

Do you know who that was, sir?'

I rayther suspect it was my father, my lord,' replied Sam.

Do you see him here now?' said the judge.

No, I don't, my Lord,' replied Sam, staring right up into the lantern at

the roof of the court.

If you could have pointed him out, I would have committed him

instantly,' said the judge. Sam bowed his acknowledgments and

turned, with unimpaired cheerfulness of countenance, towards

Serjeant Buzfuz.

Now, Mr Weller,' said Serjeant Buzfuz.

Now, sir,' replied Sam.

The Pickwick Papers