I beg this court's pardon,' said the chemist, who was a tall, thin,

yellow-visaged man, 'but I hope this court will excuse my attendance.'

On what grounds, Sir?' said Mr Justice Stareleigh. 'I have no

assistant, my Lord,' said the chemist.

'I can't help that, Sir,' replied Mr Justice Stareleigh. 'You should hire

one.'

'I can't afford it, my Lord,' rejoined the chemist.

Then you ought to be able to afford it, Sir,' said the judge, reddening;

for Mr Justice Stareleigh's temper bordered on the irritable, and

brooked not contradiction.

I know I OUGHT to do, if I got on as well as I deserved; but I don't, my

Lord,' answered the chemist.

Swear the gentleman,' said the judge peremptorily.

The officer had got no further than the 'You shall well and truly try,'

when he was again interrupted by the chemist.

I am to be sworn, my Lord, am I?' said the chemist.

Certainly, sir,' replied the testy little judge.

Very well, my Lord,' replied the chemist, in a resigned manner. 'Then

there'll be murder before this trial's over; that's all. Swear me, if you

please, Sir;' and sworn the chemist was, before the judge could find

words to utter.

'I merely wanted to observe, my Lord,' said the chemist, taking his

seat with great deliberation, 'that I've left nobody but an errand-boy in

my shop. He is a very nice boy, my Lord, but he is not acquainted with

drugs; and I know that the prevailing impression on his mind is, that

Epsom salts means oxalic acid; and syrup of senna, laudanum. That's

all, my Lord.' With this, the tall chemist composed himself into a

comfortable attitude, and, assuming a pleasant expression of

countenance, appeared to have prepared himself for the worst.

Mr Pickwick was regarding the chemist with feelings of the deepest

horror, when a slight sensation was perceptible in the body of the

court; and immediately afterwards Mrs. Bardell, supported by Mrs.

Cluppins, was led in, and placed, in a drooping state, at the other end

of the seat on which Mr Pickwick sat. An extra-sized umbrella was

then handed in by Mr Dodson, and a pair of pattens by Mr Fogg, each

of whom had prepared a most sympathising and melancholy face for

The Pickwick Papers