Chapter XXXIV

Is Wholly Devoted To A Full And Faithful Report Of The

Memorable Trial Of Bardell Against Pickwick

'I wonder what the foreman of the jury, whoever he'll be, has got for

breakfast,' said Mr Snodgrass, by way of keeping up a conversation on

the eventful morning of the fourteenth of February.

Ah!' said Perker, 'I hope he's got a good one.' 'Why so?' inquired Mr

Pickwick.

Highly important - very important, my dear Sir,' replied Perker. 'A

good, contented, well-breakfasted juryman is a capital thing to get

hold of. Discontented or hungry jurymen, my dear sir, always find for

the plaintiff.'

'Bless my heart,' said Mr Pickwick, looking very blank, 'what do they

do that for?'

Why, I don't know,' replied the little man coolly; 'saves time, I

suppose. If it's near dinner-time, the foreman takes out his watch

when the jury has retired, and says, ‘Dear me, gentlemen, ten minutes

to five, I declare! I dine at five, gentlemen.’ ‘So do I,’ says everybody

else, except two men who ought to have dined at three and seem more

than half disposed to stand out in consequence. The foreman smiles,

and puts up his watch: - ’Well, gentlemen, what do we say, plaintiff or

defendant, gentlemen? I rather think, so far as I am concerned,

gentlemen, - I say, I rather think - but don't let that influence you - I

RATHER think the plaintiff's the man.’ Upon this, two or three other

men are sure to say that they think so too - as of course they do; and

then they get on very unanimously and comfortably. Ten minutes past

nine!' said the little man, looking at his watch.'Time we were off, my

dear sir; breach of promise trial-court is generally full in such cases.

You had better ring for a coach, my dear sir, or we shall be rather

late.'

Mr Pickwick immediately rang the bell, and a coach having been

procured, the four Pickwickians and Mr Perker ensconced themselves

therein, and drove to Guildhall; Sam Weller, Mr Lowten, and the blue

bag, following in a cab.

Lowten,' said Perker, when they reached the outer hall of the court,

put Mr Pickwick's friends in the students' box; Mr Pickwick himself

had better sit by me. This way, my dear sir, this way.' Taking Mr

Pickwick by the coat sleeve, the little man led him to the low seat just

beneath the desks of the King's Counsel, which is constructed for the

convenience of attorneys, who from that spot can whisper into the ear

The Pickwick Papers