you would hardly believe me. But though I am unfortunate - nay,

gentlemen, criminal, if we are to use harsh expressions in a company

like this - still, I have my feelings like other men. I have heard of a

poet, who remarked that feelings were the common lot of all. If he

could have been a pig, gentlemen, and have uttered that sentiment, he

would still have been immortal.'

'If you're not an idiot,' said Miss Brass harshly, 'hold your peace.'

'Sarah, my dear,' returned her brother, 'thank you. But I know what I

am about, my love, and will take the liberty of expressing myself

accordingly. Mr Witherden, Sir, your handkerchief is hanging out of

your pocket - would you allow me to - ,

As Mr Brass advanced to remedy this accident, the Notary shrunk

from him with an air of disgust. Brass, who over and above his usual

prepossessing qualities, had a scratched face, a green shade over one

eye, and a hat grievously crushed, stopped short, and looked round

with a pitiful smile.

'He shuns me,' said Sampson, 'even when I would, as I may say, heap

coals of fire upon his head. Well! Ah! But I am a falling house, and the

rats (if I may be allowed the expression in reference to a gentleman I

respect and love beyond everything) fly from me! Gentlemen -

regarding your conversation just now, I happened to see my sister on

her way here, and, wondering where she could be going to, and being -

may I venture to say? - naturally of a suspicious turn, followed her.

Since then, I have been listening.' 'If you're not mad,' interposed Miss

Sally, 'stop there, and say no more.'

'Sarah, my dear,' rejoined Brass with undiminished politeness, 'I

thank you kindly, but will still proceed. Mr Witherden, sir, as we have

the honour to be members of the same profession - to say nothing of

that other gentleman having been my lodger, and having partaken, as

one may say, of the hospitality of my roof - I think you might have

given me the refusal of this offer in the first instance. I do indeed.

Now, my dear Sir,' cried Brass, seeing that the Notary was about to

interrupt him, 'suffer me to speak, I beg.'

Mr Witherden was silent, and Brass went on.

'If you will do me the favour,' he said, holding up the green shade, and

revealing an eye most horribly discoloured, 'to look at this, you will

naturally inquire, in your own minds, how did I get it. If you look from

that, to my face, you will wonder what could have been the cause of

all these scratches. And if from them to my hat, how it came into the

state in which you see it. Gentlemen,' said Brass, striking the hat

The Old Curiosity Shop