Every time he came to this concluding word, and had exhausted all

possible stress upon it, Quilp burst into a shriek of laughter, and

began again.

He's dreadfully imprudent,' muttered Brass, after he had listened to

two or three repetitions of the chant. 'Horribly imprudent. I wish he

was dumb. I wish he was deaf. I wish he was blind. Hang him,' cried

Brass, as the chant began again. 'I wish he was dead!'

Giving utterance to these friendly aspirations in behalf of his client,

Mr Sampson composed his face into its usual state of smoothness,

and waiting until the shriek came again and was dying away, went up

to the wooden house, and knocked at the door.

Come in!' cried the dwarf.

How do you do to-night sir?' said Sampson, peeping in. 'Ha ha ha!

How do you do sir? Oh dear me, how very whimsical! Amazingly

whimsical to be sure!'

Come in, you fool!' returned the dwarf, 'and don't stand there shaking

your head and showing your teeth. Come in, you false witness, you

perjurer, you suborner of evidence, come in!'

He has the richest humour!' cried Brass, shutting the door behind

him; 'the most amazing vein of comicality! But isn't it rather

injudicious, sir - ?'

What?' demanded Quilp. 'What, Judas?'

Judas!' cried Brass. 'He has such extraordinary spirits! His humour is

so extremely playful! Judas! Oh yes - dear me, how very good! Ha ha

ha!' All this time, Sampson was rubbing his hands, and staring, with

ludicrous surprise and dismay, at a great, goggle-eyed, blunt-nosed

figure-head of some old ship, which was reared up against the wall in

a corner near the stove, looking like a goblin or hideous idol whom the

dwarf worshipped. A mass of timber on its head, carved into the dim

and distant semblance of a cocked hat, together with a representation

of a star on the left breast and epaulettes on the shoulders, denoted

that it was intended for the effigy of some famous admiral; but,

without those helps, any observer might have supposed it the

authentic portrait of a distinguished merman, or great sea-monster.

Being originally much too large for the apartment which it was now

employed to decorate, it had been sawn short off at the waist. Even in

this state it reached from floor to ceiling; and thrusting itself forward,

with that excessively wide-awake aspect, and air of somewhat

obtrusive politeness, by which figure-heads are usually characterised,

seemed to reduce everything else to mere pigmy proportions.

The Old Curiosity Shop