| 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 |
| 1 | 133 | 265 | 398 | 530 |
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endeavour to find in the resources of science a means of preventing
such untoward revelations, they might indeed be looked upon as
benefactors to mankind. These opinions being equally incontrovertible
with those he had already pronounced, he went on to inform us that
Jamaica rum, though unquestionably an agreeable spirit of great
richness and flavour, had the drawback of remaining constantly
present to the taste next day; and nobody being venturous enough to
argue this point either, he increased in confidence and became yet
more companionable and communicative.
'
It's a devil of a thing, gentlemen,' said Mr Swiveller, 'when relations
fall out and disagree. If the wing of friendship should never moult a
feather, the wing of relationship should never be clipped, but be
always expanded and serene. Why should a grandson and grandfather
peg away at each other with mutual wiolence when all might be bliss
and concord. Why not jine hands and forgit it?'
'
'
Hold your tongue,' said his friend.
Sir,' replied Mr Swiveller, 'don't you interrupt the chair. Gentlemen,
how does the case stand, upon the present occasion? Here is a jolly
old grandfather - I say it with the utmost respect - and here is a wild,
young grandson. The jolly old grandfather says to the wild young
grandson, 'I have brought you up and educated you, Fred; I have put
you in the way of getting on in life; you have bolted a little out of
course, as young fellows often do; and you shall never have another
chance, nor the ghost of half a one.' The wild young grandson makes
answer to this and says, 'You're as rich as rich can be; you have been
at no uncommon expense on my account, you're saving up piles of
money for my little sister that lives with you in a secret, stealthy,
hugger-muggering kind of way and with no manner of enjoyment -
why can't you stand a trifle for your grown-up relation?' The jolly old
grandfather unto this, retorts, not only that he declines to fork out
with that cheerful readiness which is always so agreeable and
pleasant in a gentleman of his time of life, but that he will bow up,
and call names, and make reflections whenever they meet. Then the
plain question is, an't it a pity that this state of things should
continue, and how much better would it be for the gentleman to hand
over a reasonable amount of tin, and make it all right and
comfortable?'
Having delivered this oration with a great many waves and flourishes
of the hand, Mr Swiveller abruptly thrust the head of his cane into his
mouth as if to prevent himself from impairing the effect of his speech
by adding one other word.
'
Why do you hunt and persecute me, God help me!' said the old man
turning to his grandson. 'Why do you bring your prolifigate
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