Instead of which,' pursued Mr Vuffin, 'if you was to advertise

Shakspeare played entirely by wooden legs,' it's my belief you wouldn't

draw a sixpence.'

'I don't suppose you would,' said Short. And the landlord said so too.

This shows, you see,' said Mr Vuffin, waving his pipe with an

argumentative air, 'this shows the policy of keeping the used-up

giants still in the carawans, where they get food and lodging for

nothing, all their lives, and in general very glad they are to stop there.

There was one giant - a black 'un - as left his carawan some year ago

and took to carrying coach-bills about London, making himself as

cheap as crossing-sweepers. He died. I make no insinuation against

anybody in particular,' said Mr Vuffin, looking solemnly round, 'but he

was ruining the trade; - and he died.'

The landlord drew his breath hard, and looked at the owner of the

dogs, who nodded and said gruffly that he remembered.

I know you do, Jerry,' said Mr Vuffin with profound meaning. 'I know

you remember it, Jerry, and the universal opinion was, that it served

him right. Why, I remember the time when old Maunders as had

three-and-twenty wans - I remember the time when old Maunders had

in his cottage in Spa Fields in the winter time, when the season was

over, eight male and female dwarfs setting down to dinner every day,

who was waited on by eight old giants in green coats, red smalls, blue

cotton stockings, and high-lows: and there was one dwarf as had

grown elderly and wicious who whenever his giant wasn't quick

enough to please him, used to stick pins in his legs, not being able to

reach up any higher. I know that's a fact, for Maunders told it me

himself.'

What about the dwarfs when they get old?' inquired the landlord.

The older a dwarf is, the better worth he is,' returned Mr Vuffin; 'a

grey-headed dwarf, well wrinkled, is beyond all suspicion. But a giant

weak in the legs and not standing upright! - keep him in the carawan,

but never show him, never show him, for any persuasion that can be

offered.'

While Mr Vuffin and his two friends smoked their pipes and beguiled

the time with such conversation as this, the silent gentleman sat in a

warm corner, swallowing, or seeming to swallow, sixpennyworth of

halfpence for practice, balancing a feather upon his nose, and

rehearsing other feats of dexterity of that kind, without paying any

regard whatever to the company, who in their turn left him utterly

unnoticed. At length the weary child prevailed upon her grandfather to

The Old Curiosity Shop