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politicians and philosophers, in the management of colonies,
populations, and industry, and in the desire to do others any harm which
may turn to your own good, you stand alone. The hour will come when two
boards will be put up on earth--inscribed on one side, Men; on the
other, Englishmen. I mention this to your glory, I, who am neither
English nor human, having the honour to be a bear. Still more--I am a
doctor. That follows. Gentlemen, I teach. What? Two kinds of
things--things which I know, and things which I do not. I sell my drugs
and I sell my ideas. Approach and listen. Science invites you. Open your
ear; if it is small, it will hold but little truth; if large, a great
deal of folly will find its way in. Now, then, attention! I teach the
Pseudoxia Epidemica. I have a comrade who will make you laugh, but I can
make you think. We live in the same box, laughter being of quite as old
a family as thought. When people asked Democritus, 'How do you know?' he
answered, 'I laugh.' And if I am asked, 'Why do you laugh?' I shall
answer, 'I know.' However, I am not laughing. I am the rectifier of
popular errors. I take upon myself the task of cleaning your intellects.
They require it. Heaven permits people to deceive themselves, and to be
deceived. It is useless to be absurdly modest. I frankly avow that I
believe in Providence, even where it is wrong. Only when I see
filth--errors are filth--I sweep them away. How am I sure of what I
know? That concerns only myself. Every one catches wisdom as he can.
Lactantius asked questions of, and received answers from, a bronze head
of Virgil. Sylvester II. conversed with birds. Did the birds speak? Did
the Pope twitter? That is a question. The dead child of the Rabbi
Elcazer talked to Saint Augustine. Between ourselves, I doubt all these
facts except the last. The dead child might perhaps talk, because under
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