The Letters Of Mark Twain, Complete


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Have you noticed the rumor that the Portuguese throne is unsteady, and  
that the Portuguese slaves are getting restive? Also, that the head  
slave-driver of Europe, Alexander III, has so reduced his usual monthly  
order for chains that the Russian foundries are running on only half  
time now? Also that other rumor that English nobility acquired an added  
stench the other day--and had to ship it to India and the continent  
because there wasn't any more room for it at home? Things are working.  
By and by there is going to be an emigration, may be. Of course we shall  
make no preparation; we never do. In a few years from now we shall have  
nothing but played-out kings and dukes on the police, and driving the  
horse-cars, and whitewashing fences, and in fact overcrowding all the  
avenues of unskilled labor; and then we shall wish, when it is too late,  
that we had taken common and reasonable precautions and drowned them  
at  
Castle Garden.  
There followed at this time a number of letters to Goodman, but as  
there is much of a sameness in them, we need not print them all.  
Clemens, in fact, kept the mails warm with letters bulging with  
schemes for capitalization, and promising vast wealth to all  
concerned. When the letters did not go fast enough he sent  
telegrams. In one of the letters Goodman is promised "five hundred  
thousand dollars out of the profits before we get anything  
ourselves." One thing we gather from these letters is that Paige  
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