The Letters Of Mark Twain, Complete


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which are to me amazing.  
Clara is calling for me--we have to go into town and pay calls.  
MARK.  
In Florence, that winter, Clemens began dictating to his secretary  
some autobiographical chapters. This was the work which was "not to  
see print until I am dead." He found it a pleasant, lazy occupation  
and wrote his delight in it to Howells in a letter which seems not  
to have survived. In his reply, Howells wrote: "You do stir me  
mightily with the hope of dictating and I will try it when I get the  
chance. But there is the tempermental difference. You are dramatic  
and unconscious; you count the thing more than yourself; I am cursed  
with consciousness to the core, and can't say myself out; I am  
always saying myself in, and setting myself above all that I say, as  
of more worth. Lately I have felt as if I were rotting with  
egotism. I don't admire myself; I am sick of myself; but I can't  
think of anything else. Here I am at it now, when I ought to be  
rejoicing with you at the blessing you have found.... I'd like,  
immensely, to read your autobiography. You always rather bewildered  
me by your veracity, and I fancy you may tell the truth about  
yourself. But all of it? The black truth which we all know of  
ourselves in our hearts, or only the whity-brown truth of the  
pericardium, or the nice, whitened truth of the shirtfront? Even  
1108  


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