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she felt bliss in this communication with her beloved, although he knew not
to whom he addressed his instructions. The drawing itself became ineffably
dear to her. He had seen it, and praised it; it was again retouched by her,
each stroke of her pencil was as a chord of thrilling music, and bore to
her the idea of a temple raised to celebrate the deepest and most
unutterable emotions of her soul. These contemplations engaged her, when
the voice of Raymond first struck her ear, a voice, once heard, never to be
forgotten; she mastered her gush of feelings, and welcomed him with quiet
gentleness.
Pride and tenderness now struggled, and at length made a compromise
together. She would see Raymond, since destiny had led him to her, and her
constancy and devotion must merit his friendship. But her rights with
regard to him, and her cherished independence, should not be injured by the
idea of interest, or the intervention of the complicated feelings attendant
on pecuniary obligation, and the relative situations of the benefactor, and
benefited. Her mind was of uncommon strength; she could subdue her sensible
wants to her mental wishes, and suffer cold, hunger and misery, rather than
concede to fortune a contested point. Alas! that in human nature such a
pitch of mental discipline, and disdainful negligence of nature itself,
should not have been allied to the extreme of moral excellence! But the
resolution that permitted her to resist the pains of privation, sprung from
the too great energy of her passions; and the concentrated self-will of
which this was a sign, was destined to destroy even the very idol, to
preserve whose respect she submitted to this detail of wretchedness.
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