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CHAPTER X.
"That, then, was the way in which I was captured. I was in love, as
it is called; not only did she appear to me a perfect being, but I
considered myself a white blackbird. It is a commonplace fact that there
is no one so low in the world that he cannot find some one viler than
himself, and consequently puff with pride and self-contentment. I was in
that situation. I did not marry for money. Interest was foreign to the
affair, unlike the marriages of most of my acquaintances, who married
either for money or for relations. First, I was rich, she was poor.
Second, I was especially proud of the fact that, while others married
with an intention of continuing their polygamic life as bachelors, it
was my firm intention to live monogamically after my engagement and the
wedding, and my pride swelled immeasurably.
"Yes, I was a wretch, convinced that I was an angel. The period of
my engagement did not last long. I cannot remember those days without
shame. What an abomination!
"It is generally agreed that love is a moral sentiment, a community of
thought rather than of sense. If that is the case, this community of
thought ought to find expression in words and conversation. Nothing of
the sort. It was extremely difficult for us to talk with each other.
What a toil of Sisyphus was our conversation! Scarcely had we thought of
something to say, and said it, when we had to resume our silence and try
to discover new subjects. Literally, we did not know what to say to each
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