and water, but never once saw goats driven through their Broadway or

their Pennsylvania Avenue or their Montgomery street and milked at the

doors of the houses. I saw real glass windows in the houses of even the

commonest people. Some of the houses are not of stone, nor yet of

bricks; I solemnly swear they are made of wood. Houses there will take

fire and burn, sometimes--actually burn entirely down, and not leave a

single vestige behind. I could state that for a truth, upon my

death-bed. And as a proof that the circumstance is not rare, I aver

that they have a thing which they call a fire-engine, which vomits forth

great streams of water, and is kept always in readiness, by night and by

day, to rush to houses that are burning. You would think one engine

would be sufficient, but some great cities have a hundred; they keep men

hired, and pay them by the month to do nothing but put out fires. For a

certain sum of money other men will insure that your house shall not

burn down; and if it burns they will pay you for it. There are hundreds

and thousands of schools, and any body may go and learn to be wise, like

a priest. In that singular country if a rich man dies a sinner, he is

damned; he can not buy salvation with money for masses. There is really

not much use in being rich, there. Not much use as far as the other

world is concerned, but much, very much use, as concerns this; because

there, if a man be rich, he is very greatly honored, and can become a

legislator, a governor, a general, a senator, no matter how ignorant an

ass he is--just as in our beloved Italy the nobles hold all the great

places, even though sometimes they are born noble idiots. There, if a

man be rich, they give him costly presents, they ask him to feasts, they

invite him to drink complicated beverages; but if he be poor and in

300

The Innocents Abroad