I have hinted that our Mother England had equipped Mr. Polly for the

management of his internal concerns no whit better than she had for

the direction of his external affairs. With a careless generosity she

affords her children a variety of foods unparalleled in the world's

history, and including many condiments and preserved preparations

novel to the human economy. And Miriam did the cooking. Mr. Polly's

system, like a confused and ill-governed democracy, had been brought

to a state of perpetual clamour and disorder, demanding now evil and

unsuitable internal satisfactions, such as pickles and vinegar and the

crackling on pork, and now vindictive external expression, war and

bloodshed throughout the world. So that Mr. Polly had been led into

hatred and a series of disagreeable quarrels with his landlord, his

wholesalers, and most of his neighbours.

Rumbold, the china dealer next door, seemed hostile from the first for

no apparent reason, and always unpacked his crates with a full back to

his new neighbour, and from the first Mr. Polly resented and hated

that uncivil breadth of expressionless humanity, wanted to prod it,

kick it, satirise it. But you cannot satirise a hack, if you have no

friend to nudge while you do it.

At last Mr. Polly could stand it no longer. He approached and prodded

Rumbold.

196

The History of Mr Polly