letters you'd have supposed they'd been to heaven. And if a sentimental

squeamishness held one or two of them back from taking a less rosy view

of Napoleon, our hospitalities tied his tongue, at least, and he said

nothing at all and so did us no harm. Let me see--have I stated all the

expenses I've been at? No, I was near forgetting one or two items.

There's your official salaries--you can't get good men for nothing.

Salaries cost pretty lively. And then there's your big high-sounding

millionaire names stuck into your advertisements as stockholders--another

card, that--and they are stockholders, too, but you have to give them the

stock and non-assessable at that--so they're an expensive lot. Very,

very expensive thing, take it all around, is a big internal improvement

concern--but you see that yourself, Mr. Bryerman--you see that, yourself,

sir."

"But look here. I think you are a little mistaken about it's ever having

cost anything for Congressional votes. I happen to know something about

that. I've let you say your say--now let me say mine. I don't wish to

seem to throw any suspicion on anybody's statements, because we are all

liable to be mistaken. But how would it strike you if I were to say that

I was in Washington all the time this bill was pending? and what if I

added that I put the measure through myself? Yes, sir, I did that little

thing. And moreover, I never paid a dollar for any man's vote and never

promised one. There are some ways of doing a thing that are as good as

others which other people don't happen to think about, or don't have the

knack of succeeding in, if they do happen to think of them. My dear sir,

I am obliged to knock some of your expenses in the head--for never a cent

294

The Gilded Age