If you inquire around a little, you will find that there are more

boardinghouses to the square acre in Washington than there are in any

other city in the land, perhaps. If you apply for a home in one of them,

it will seem odd to you to have the landlady inspect you with a severe

eye and then ask you if you are a member of Congress. Perhaps, just as a

pleasantry, you will say yes. And then she will tell you that she is

full." Then you show her her advertisement in the morning paper, and

there she stands, convicted and ashamed. She will try to blush, and it

will be only polite in you to take the effort for the deed. She shows

you her rooms, now, and lets you take one--but she makes you pay in

advance for it. That is what you will get for pretending to be a member

of Congress. If you had been content to be merely a private citizen,

your trunk would have been sufficient security for your board. If you

are curious and inquire into this thing, the chances are that your

landlady will be ill-natured enough to say that the person and property

of a Congressman are exempt from arrest or detention, and that with the

tears in her eyes she has seen several of the people's representatives

walk off to their several States and Territories carrying her unreceipted

board bills in their pockets for keepsakes. And before you have been in

Washington many weeks you will be mean enough to believe her, too.

Of course you contrive to see everything and find out everything. And

one of the first and most startling things you find out is, that every

individual you encounter in the City of Washington almost--and certainly

every separate and distinct individual in the public employment, from the

252

The Gilded Age