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For a time no one moved and all were silent. Then an old Nome with
white whiskers so long that they were tied around his waist to prevent
their tripping him up, stepped out of the ranks and saluted the King.
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I'd like to ask a few questions, your Majesty," he said.
Go ahead," replied the King.
These Oz people are quite good, are they not?"
As good as apple pie," said the King.
And they are happy, I suppose?" continued the old Nome.
Happy as the day is long," said the King.
And contented and prosperous?" inquired the Nome.
Very much so," said the King.
Well, your Majesty," remarked he of the white whiskers, "I think I should
like to undertake the job, so I'll be your General. I hate good people; I
detest happy people; I'm opposed to any one who is contented and
prosperous. That is why I am so fond of your Majesty. Make me your
General and I'll promise to conquer and destroy the Oz people. If I fail
I'm ready to be sliced thin and fed to the seven-headed dogs."
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Very good! Very good, indeed! That's the way to talk!" cried Roquat the
Red, who was greatly pleased. "What is your name, General?"
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I'm called Guph, your Majesty."
Well, Guph, come with me to my private cave, and we'll talk it over."
Then he turned to the army. "Nomes and soldiers," said he, "you are to
obey the commands of General Guph until he becomes dog-feed. Any
man who fails to obey his new General will be promptly thrown away.
You are now dismissed."
Guph went to the King's private cave and sat down upon an amethyst
chair and put his feet on the arm of the King's ruby throne. Then he
lighted his pipe and threw the live coal he had taken from his pocket
upon the King's left foot and puffed the smoke into the King's eyes and
made himself comfortable. For he was a wise old Nome, and he knew
that the best way to get along with Roquat the Red was to show that he
was not afraid of him.
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