The Adventures of Tom Sawyer


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clear back to the Crusades. "Friendship" was one; "Memories of Other  
Days"; "Religion in History"; "Dream Land"; "The Advantages of  
Culture"; "Forms of Political Government Compared and Contrasted";  
"Melancholy"; "Filial Love"; "Heart Longings," etc., etc.  
A prevalent feature in these compositions was a nursed and petted  
melancholy; another was a wasteful and opulent gush of "fine language";  
another was a tendency to lug in by the ears particularly prized words  
and phrases until they were worn entirely out; and a peculiarity that  
conspicuously marked and marred them was the inveterate and intolerable  
sermon that wagged its crippled tail at the end of each and every one  
of them. No matter what the subject might be, a brain-racking effort  
was made to squirm it into some aspect or other that the moral and  
religious mind could contemplate with edification. The glaring  
insincerity of these sermons was not sufficient to compass the  
banishment of the fashion from the schools, and it is not sufficient  
to-day; it never will be sufficient while the world stands, perhaps.  
There is no school in all our land where the young ladies do not feel  
obliged to close their compositions with a sermon; and you will find  
that the sermon of the most frivolous and the least religious girl in  
the school is always the longest and the most relentlessly pious. But  
enough of this. Homely truth is unpalatable.  
Let us return to the "Examination." The first composition that was  
read was one entitled "Is this, then, Life?" Perhaps the reader can  
endure an extract from it:  
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