Sketches New and Old


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cheap prints on the walls, of battles, early Presidents, and voluptuous  
recumbent sultanas, and the tiresome and everlasting young girl putting  
her grandfather's spectacles on; execrated in my heart the cheerful  
canary and the distracting parrot that few barbers' shops are without.  
Finally, I searched out the least dilapidated of last year's illustrated  
papers that littered the foul center-table, and conned their  
unjustifiable misrepresentations of old forgotten events.  
At last my turn came. A voice said "Next!" and I surrendered to--No. 2,  
of course. It always happens so. I said meekly that I was in a hurry,  
and it affected him as strongly as if he had never heard it. He shoved  
up my head, and put a napkin under it. He plowed his fingers into my  
collar and fixed a towel there. He explored my hair with his claws and  
suggested that it needed trimming. I said I did not want it trimmed. He  
explored again and said it was pretty long for the present style--better  
have a little taken off; it needed it behind especially. I said I had  
had it cut only a week before. He yearned over it reflectively a moment,  
and then asked with a disparaging manner, who cut it? I came back at him  
promptly with a "You did!" I had him there. Then he fell to stirring up  
his lather and regarding himself in the glass, stopping now and then to  
get close and examine his chin critically or inspect a pimple. Then he  
lathered one side of my face thoroughly, and was about to lather the  
other, when a dog-fight attracted his attention, and he ran to the window  
and stayed and saw it out, losing two shillings on the result in bets  
with the other barbers, a thing which gave me great satisfaction. He  
finished lathering, and then began to rub in the suds with his hand.  
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