Sketches New and Old


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slop-bucket by the door and rocking-chair by the window, when you come in  
at midnight or thereabout, you will fall over that rocking-chair, and you  
will proceed toward the window and sit down in that slop-tub. This will  
disgust you. They like that.  
No matter where you put anything, they are not going to let it stay  
there. They will take it and move it the first chance they get. It is  
their nature. And, besides, it gives them pleasure to be mean and  
contrary this way. They would die if they couldn't be villains.  
They always save up all the old scraps of printed rubbish you throw on  
the floor, and stack them up carefully on the table, and start the fire  
with your valuable manuscripts. If there is any one particular old scrap  
that you are more down on than any other, and which you are gradually  
wearing your life out trying to get rid of, you may take all the pains  
you possibly can in that direction, but it won't be of any use, because  
they will always fetch that old scrap back and put it in the same old  
place again every time. It does them good.  
And they use up more hair-oil than any six men. If charged with  
purloining the same, they lie about it. What do they care about a  
hereafter? Absolutely nothing.  
If you leave the key in the door for convenience' sake, they will carry  
it down to the office and give it to the clerk. They do this under the  
vile pretense of trying to protect your property from thieves; but  
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