Sketches New and Old


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THE LATE BENJAMIN FRANKLIN--[Written about 1870.]  
["Never put off till to-morrow what you can do day after to-morrow just  
as well."--B. F.]  
This party was one of those persons whom they call Philosophers. He was  
twins, being born simultaneously in two different houses in the city of  
Boston. These houses remain unto this day, and have signs upon them  
worded in accordance with the facts. The signs are considered well  
enough to have, though not necessary, because the inhabitants point out  
the two birthplaces to the stranger anyhow, and sometimes as often as  
several times in the same day. The subject of this memoir was of a  
vicious disposition, and early prostituted his talents to the invention  
of maxims and aphorisms calculated to inflict suffering upon the rising  
generation of all subsequent ages. His simplest acts, also, were  
contrived with a view to their being held up for the emulation of boys  
forever--boys who might otherwise have been happy. It was in this spirit  
that he became the son of a soap-boiler, and probably for no other reason  
than that the efforts of all future boys who tried to be anything might  
be looked upon with suspicion unless they were the sons of soap-boilers.  
With a malevolence which is without parallel in history, he would work  
all day, and then sit up nights, and let on to be studying algebra by the  
light of a smoldering fire, so that all other boys might have to do that  
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Page
196 197 198 199 200

Quick Jump
1 101 201 302 402