Sketches New and Old


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go straightway and swing a Chinaman.  
It was in this way that he found out that by studying one half of each  
day's "local items," it would appear that the police of San Francisco  
were either asleep or dead, and by studying the other half it would seem  
that the reporters were gone mad with admiration of the energy, the  
virtue, the high effectiveness, and the dare-devil intrepidity of that  
very police-making exultant mention of how "the Argus-eyed officer  
So-and-so" captured a wretched knave of a Chinaman who was stealing  
chickens, and brought him gloriously to the city prison; and how "the  
gallant officer Such-and-such-a-one" quietly kept an eye on the movements  
of an "unsuspecting, almond-eyed son of Confucius" (your reporter is  
nothing if not facetious), following him around with that far-off look of  
vacancy and unconsciousness always so finely affected by that  
inscrutable being, the forty-dollar policeman, during a waking interval,  
and captured him at last in the very act of placing his hands in a  
suspicious manner upon a paper of tacks, left by the owner in an exposed  
situation; and how one officer performed this prodigious thing, and  
another officer that, and another the other--and pretty much every one of  
these performances having for a dazzling central incident a Chinaman  
guilty of a shilling's worth of crime, an unfortunate, whose misdemeanor  
must be hurrahed into something enormous in order to keep the public from  
noticing how many really important rascals went uncaptured in the mean  
time, and how overrated those glorified policemen actually are.  
It was in this way that the boy found out that the legislature, being  
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Page
137 138 139 140 141

Quick Jump
1 101 201 302 402